A matter of pride
by Megaphone.Kills.You
Summary: Being pushed around your whole life can get to you. And somewhere along the way, there is a point where you simply...snap. And Karin has reached that point as Suigetsu says the magic word. "Useless." And she snaps.


**A matter of respect**

Being a woman in the world of Ninja was quite a disadvantage.

You only got to fight on the side-lines and never received any really supporting training because your male comrades were apparently convinced that as a female, you needed to be protected and can't fight on your own as the weakest link. Even as time went by and also kunoichi slowly gained recognition, it seemed the improved image of the female ninja went unnoticed by some people.

And Karin was sick of it.

Always underestimated, never rewarded.

It was a vicious circle. Talent was ignored, talent wasn't supported, and when this talent was actually needed, it was useless because she didn't know how to use it to her advantage and the others felt reconfirmed in their assumptions that she was simply dead weight. How should she improve if never given the chance?

Only Orochimaru, yes, only he had recognized her true potential, her value. He could see it and he even offered her, the 'weak' kunoichi, to join him and of course, she accepted without second thought. Someone needed her. That was everything she cared for. No longer was she the weak, little, annoying Karin that couldn't fight properly. Now she was the warden Karin, one of Orochimaru's favorites. She was special.

At first, everything was fine. Finally she got the training that she had always been denied, finally she was being promoted. The things she had dreamed of, they were all within reach now. But as time went by, she noticed how the recognition she had relished in so far faded and she was reduced to the damsel in distress once again.

"Are you sure that you can do this by yourself, Karin-chan? Isn't it too demanding for you?" they would say.

Her master Orochimaru couldn't train her anymore too, being already busy enough with winning over that Uchiha brat, Sasuke, for Oto. The first time she met him, she couldn't help but admit that he was, even for his relatively young age, exceptionally handsome. Yet the jealousy stayed and it made the redhead's blood boil and she would try harder, just to fail at the same old 'handicap' of 'merely' being a female. No matter how important he was for Orochimaru, she was simply jealous.

The ugly feeling subsided and things changed for the better when she was promoted. A whole lair to watch over, all by herself. An immense proof of the Snake San-nin's trust in her abilities. Of course, the prisoners at first held no respect for a girl.

Not kunoichi.

A girl.

She taught them to fear her soon enough.

It didn't matter to her that she dirtied her hands with their blood for her goal and their cries of agony where all drowned out by the voice whispering in the back of her head, telling her that she was doing the right thing. It wasn't that she didn't pity them and she could've done much worse things to them, so, so much worse, yet she couldn't stand their disrespect and every single sting that would cut through her heart was healed by the knowledge of what she was gaining with her wrong-doings.

Every once in while Orochimaru would visit, to check if everything was alright and to perform the one or another experiment on a prisoner and he would bring Sasuke along.

She had grown out of her childish phase and she looked forward to his visits, her heart beating at such a pace, fearing it would stop any second, at the mere thought of him. His perfectly styled hair, his dark and cold eyes, the beautiful face, the smooth skin, the mysterious aura that surrounded him and at last, but not at least, his oh so strong chakra; it all captivated her. Everything about him was almost too perfect for a single individual.

She doubted he even noticed her, much less that he knew her name.

And then Orochimaru died.

Well, not died. Technically, Sasuke had only absorbed him. Orochimaru was immortal, after all.

And the Uchiha came to the hide-out for her, out of all people he could have asked. Specifically for her. Her happiness, however, turned into horror as she spotted his companion; he'd brought that horrible Suigetsu along. An experiment she was unlucky enough to have met on a few occasions. He brought back the memories of the time when she was considered useless. Useless, useless, useless.

Sometimes, the jokes and the serious comments blended together and she never knew when he was only teasing and when he was hurting her on purpose; to her, it was the same. She was useless, useless, useless.

"You're so useless Karin. I wonder why Sasuke even puts up with you" he said (or is he only joking this time?) and took a sip from his drink he always carried with him and the corners of his mouth were curled upwards in a smirk.

**_USELESS. INSIGNIFICANT. _**

And she didn't know why, but this time she simply snapped.

Okay, she would usually hit him, kick him, after one of those comments anyway, but she controlled herself and was never completely serious.

This time was different.

With an un-lady-like roar, she lunged herself at the white-haired teenager and crushed him with her weight (that was even less than average, no matter what Suigetsu said). He was so taken aback that he failed to turn into water in time and she memorized with malicious amusement his shocked expression.

Then her fist came down and went right through his head. Everything she could see was the water splashing in every direction. It was everywhere and still she kept on beating her teammate she was supposed to care for and Karin eventually landed the deciding hit. Once the fishboy was hit, it was next to impossible to escape her fists for him, even with his ability.

As his head just turned back into flesh, her fist made contact with his cheek and satisfying crack reached her ears. Now she lost the last bit of control she had possessed and Suigetsu, momentarily stunned by the punch, received more and more bruises and scratches as she clawed at and hit his face over and over again.

Only after a whole minute of being beaten into a pulp, the Kiri-Nuke-nin managed to escape her and materialized behind her. Both expected him to attack her for the damage she had caused, but neither moved (except for Karin, still trembling from the rage that coursed through her) and simply stared at one another with wide eyes.

No matter how much the red-haired female hated Suigetsu, in this moment she couldn't help but feel afraid and...she felt strangely guilty.

Why wasn't he moving? Why wasn't he returning the 'favor'?

His amethyst eyes were narrowed and he bared his teeth, yet he remained seemingly rooted to the spot. Slowly, he turned around, his back facing her.

"Don't say that I'm useless. I'm _not not not_ useless!" she rasps out, tears stinging in her eyes (hell, where did those come from?) and she is aware that she must make a pathetic impression. Sitting on the ground, soaked in water from head to toe, shaking and crying, and still trying to convince him that she is not just dead weight.

Surprisingly, Suigetsu kept most of his snide remarks to himself after that incident.

She had earned his respect, although he never said it out loud, and she was grateful for that, even if it was stupid fishboy.

* * *

><p><strong>I have been in the mood to write something Pro-Karin in a while now :3 I really, really, really like her and it's such a shame she is often getting bashed. I wanted to have some SuiKa in this, but it was almost impossible. Just cross out the last sentence if you don't like it. If anyone has ideas for a SuiKa-One Shot, tell me! And please review (: It would make my day!<strong>


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